That shouldn't be so hard right?
Wrong
I wonder what life would be like if praise was always on my lips. Let me be clear, praise for God. The way and the truth and the life. That is really hard for me. Constantly keeping my eyes upward. They tend to move inward. I am selfish. I care too much about things that matter so little. My life should be about Christ, about living like him.
Prime example.
I am a musician. I am a performer. I have been given a gift. A gift that I take for granted. Recently, I have been feeling bad about myself, in the musical way. That may not make much sense. I'll try to clarify. I have felt like I am not good at what I do. I feel like I can't write well, or play well. I have been unsatisfied with what I produce. But then I realized something. That this thing that I do, this music, this passion I have, isn't mine. It isn't for me. It isn't for you. It is for God.
Colossians 3:23
Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men
Lately I had been feeling a supreme jealousy. I have been envious of one of my best friends. He writes music (good music), plays it places, has a band, has albums, and is a better musician than I am. Honestly I want him (as well as other like him) to think my music, the things I do with instruments, are good. I have been seeking the approval of men. Not once did I stop and ask what God thinks of my music. What God thinks about what I do with instruments.
So why didn't I?
I should see myself as steward of the gift of music. Because of the talent I have been blessed with, I get to experience God in a way others cannot. And for that I should be supremely grateful. I am blessed to be a musician.
1 Corinthians 4: 1-2
This is how one should regard us, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God. Moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found trustworthy.
I have never really looked at it like this before. I have been trusted with this ability. This talent. At times with this talent comes the responsibility of leading others. I have been a worship leader for nearly three years. God trusts me to lead his people in musical worship. All of these things I am saying I had already known in the context of worship leading. Now I see how silly I have been, thinking that the same rules don't apply to the rest of my musical exploits.
My talent. No. God's talent, that I am borrowing. I should be using it to glorify God. I need to seek the approval of God, I need to ask him to guide my projects and I need to thank him when I succeed.
So. My job. Live like Christ. In every way. Especially when it comes to music how I use the gifts I have been given.
From Bon Iver's self titled album (Which is amazing by the way.) The song is Holocene.
...and at once i knew i was not magnificent.
high above the highway aisle
(jagged vacance, thick with ice)
i could see for miles, miles, miles
